Wasting

Together they saw themselves apart. They saw themselves as young. Why can’t I find another love? they each thought with thickening core. These were days of boredom. Tart exhalations as laughter. These were days of longing. Of looking out the window. Of looking at the wall. Drooped faces turned against the other in a bed gone cold. Of sheets that were not the ones in which they’d loved. These were days of disgust. Of doing things the wrong way. Of leaving the other alone, early on a Saturday morning, in an empty house. These were days of silence. But what could they expect? They were old. Who would love their bodies? Who would endure their smells and habits? Who would know the faces in their picture frames? Who would care, if they knew? Who would laugh at their jokes? Only funny for their remembered punchlines. But who was the other beside them, huddling close only for the invading cold. Despite the never-forgotten words that only they heard. The wind protecting them from the others in seated in rows. The words that were everyone’s but only theirs. Sealing their lips

Life of an MS3 on Clerkships

The Lost Puppy

I'm on Week 3 of my OB/GYN rotation, and I've been having a blast (for the most part). However, much to my dismay, I've found that no one really knows what our schedule is. The first doctor I worked with in gyn clinic had no idea that I was coming in, and when she asked when I would return, it was on a day that the office was closed! Same with my attending on my first L&D shift, which was very graciously given from 7pm-7am on the 4th of July! Watching dtLA fireworks from the Ob department on the very top floor of Good Samaritan Hospital actually wasn't the worst way to celebrate America's birthday (sadly, didn't see any babies born on the 4th, but they did come out after midnight!).

Anyway, as an MS3, our only real role is to learn. Most times I feel like a lost puppy following on the heels of pretty much any doctor who doesn't mind having a shadow who may sometimes get in the way. I was in the OR yesterday and found myself blindly following the next MD to walk past me. Luckily, I snapped out of it and realized that I had no business following him. Today, I spent a good 2 hours trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be from vague instructions telling me to report to one of the GS-affiliated medical towers for some "Ob private practice experience". I scoured the entire tower looking for anything remotely Ob and USC-affiliated since there was no suite number given. I even wandered back to my kennel in L&D at Good Sam to look for either of my attendings. No luck. Finally got an email back from my track director with the suite number, and, lo and behold, no one was there and they don't see patients on Wednesday. Where to go??? Here is a snapchat story of my (mis)adventures:

Gone

A calm house was a fiery house. On the inside of course. The old man was an old man. On the outside of course. On the inside he was just fine. The world wasn’t fine. His wife was really inside. Inside the ground. In a box in the ground. There he would be too. In a box in the ground. The ground around. All around. He rocked on the chair. The chair creaked and he watched the birds peck on the tree. Two little birds that followed him from his home. To where? To where? he asked the birds. The two birds looked directly at him and said, “Outside. Outside.” He stood, creaking. The others watched. Mouths gaping. They weren’t watching him at all. He

All of these, the entire collection

So I got a little carried away during Boards studying and decided to start an #allofthese snapchat series. I was inspired by this little buzzfeed gem. I believe I made all of these all of these within the course of 2 days... my sister told me that at one point, she received 1 minute worth of snaps from me. Whoops. Also, thanks to everyone who sent me their own all of these snaps! Those were great (hope you didn't mind that I posted them here, too)!

A dunk into my pensieve – a reflection on my first 2 years of medical school and a quarter century of life

Here beats a riddle in metric perfection:

A pooling of water in moldable vase,

Ivory frosting to layer on settling cake,

The tabula rasa awaiting its trace.

Half-baked clay, a bubble catching breath,

An anxious snowball hopped on down a rolling hill,

 This lonely grain of sand’s asleep in lustrous jacket.

Here’s pen hovering over paper, hands on clay,

A wind-hungry sail ready to take course.

Here breathes a brand new pair of scissors

That cut itself out from a plastic cell.

-Unknown

I’ve never been good at keeping a diary; indeed, I’d be the first to admit that inconsistency is my greatest flaw. Thus, it is not at all surprising that my first reflection about medical school should be written nearly 2 years after the initiation of our blog, covering half of our entire tenure at Keck. Those 2 years though, those 730 days, I now realize have been some of the most powerful forces in shaping who I am. I’m typically not that person who likes to write about themselves at length, but I will try my best to capture this personal time span in the broadest way I know how. Take from it what you will; just like anything that happens in life, it is not meant to be a teaching point, some kind of universal lesson, but it is a significant experience in the short history of my life, and I hope that you can take something away from it. That’s it; disclaimer over.

Not a waltz but not a foxtrot either

I spent the majority of my first year of med school slipping in and out of a haze. It’s that feeling that you get when you’ve been anticipating something for so long that you become suspended in a surreal state once that moment, that something, arrives.

Like when you stumble through the finish line after months of marathon training, or when you finally

60 Days of Step 1 "Sadness"

DAY 60

#sadderdaynomore #puertoricobabyyy #toomanydrinks #sickoflounging #seaturtlescansuckit #neverneedajacket #frizzyhair #margaritastoostrong #100daysofunhappiness

Mansi and Sophia posting from Vieques Island, Puerto Rico! We have looked forward to this day for so long that it feels unreal being here, soaking up the rays and (on some days) having absolutely nowhere to be. The island life is such a stark contrast from our Step 1 studying, and it has truly helped to put our lives in perspective! The living here is slow and easy, and I've already twice been

60 Days of Step 1 "Sadness"

DAY 59

#moanday #truth #thatopportunitycomesmore #thanonceinalifetime #identifythecopingmechanism #CAGEquestionhim #howifeel #100daysofunhappiness